axbom’s avataraxbom’s Twitter Archive—№ 23,945

            1. 1/ This is a good read for understanding why I may sometimes come across as shy in social settings. huffingtonpost.com/michael-taft/learning-to-listen_b_912046.html
          1. …in reply to @axbom
            2/ When others speak I listen. When they pause I am taking in and processing what they are saying. Many people feel that the silence is awkward and jump in to fill the "void". My opportunity to respond may be lost.
        1. …in reply to @axbom
          3/ When others speak I try not to think about what to say next. I am thinking about the meaning of what they are saying. In the silence I am choosing the best way forward based on my experience - and deciding if I need clarification.
      1. …in reply to @axbom
        4/ Silence also allows the "sender" a moment to reflect upon what they have said. This of course works well for me in coaching settings and research. In social settings, when conversations are more like tennis matches, not as much. But I do feel how my listening is appreciated.
    1. …in reply to @axbom
      5/ The act of true listening can untie a lot of knots by itself. When I first hired my own coach it was one of the first times someone was listening to me without judgement and without intent to respond with advice. It is a liberating experience.
  1. …in reply to @axbom
    6/ The act of active listening is also liberating when it is done consciously, when I am the coach. Giving time to reflect on words, even if just for a few seconds, has the potential to change the whole direction of a conversation. /stop.