axbom’s avataraxbom’s Twitter Archive—№ 35,214

                1. 1) I don’t have much of a temper. Except in traffic. I can even scream profanities. My wife finds this very amusing, as I expressed astonishment at her temper when driving before I myself got a license. Now our shared drives are a lesson in perspective shifting. -> a thread.
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                2) Whenever a car pulls out dangerously close in front of me and I grind my teeth and “eejit!” escapes from my lips, my wife calmly says: “Imagine what a bad day that driver may be having.” When she is driving, and becomes equally upset over others’ carelessness, I do the same.
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              3) A regular banter occurs where we challenge each other think much further than a 5-second encounter. We talk about illness, distress, being late, and reasons: diverting into workplace culture, parenthood, and chain reactions. We humanize the situation.
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            4) Allowing myself to accept the complexity of being human opens doors to owning my own reactions. It’s okay to not like everyone’s actions but I can also accept them for what they are: actions within a larger context and unknown circumstances. I don’t have to judge everything.
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          5) When someone wants to cut into my lane after speeding past dozens of cars, I more often leave space for them and let them in, without (too much) judgment. Staying calm, cooperating, and chooosing to be helpful makes my day better, and hopefully theirs, and persons around them.
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        6) I’d definitely be lying if I said I can reason like this every time. Hardly. But these regular conversations allow me to – in retrospect – more maturely reflect on situations when I fail, increasing chances of success next time.
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      7) And it’s especially when I’m on my own that my temper takes a turn for the worse. When I have someone to talk to and reason with I can slowly find my way to a healthier mindset.
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    8) I think my biggest wish is for everyone to have someone to talk to. Someone who listens. And who also will challenge.
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      9) Sidenote: I am far from a perfect driver. Obviously, given my outbursts. This always reminds me of the bias exemplified by asking an auditorium how many consider themselves to be a better than average driver. Essentially everyone raises their hand, which should scare us.
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